Dream Interpretation - Instructions How to Interpret and Analyze Your Dreams
You can interpret your dreams!Your dreams are full of symbols and allegories. (Stories that are told that have a meaning other than the story itself.) When you venture into the realm of dream interpretation you must try to decode your dream, you need to dissect it into the separate fragments and examine each for its particular meaning. Each one contains a small nugget of the whole picture. Dreams are composed of a collage of little parts of your own life experience that are stored away in your brain symbolically.
Simply using a dictionary of dreams can be misleading, because these interpretations had a value to the composer of the list, which may have been a part of his or her personal experience. Someone else’s experiences don’t create the same symbols that your own mind has created. You need to develop your own set of interpretations for the symbols that are particular to your own life’s experiences.
Divide and conquer!That is one of the basic strategies that military commanders have known since antiquity. Splitting your opponent’s concentrated power into sizable chunks makes it that much easier to overcome him. Then he can be taken out piece by piece. This is the strategy to use in dream interpretation, Divide and analyze!
Here are some of the basic parts in most dreams:
You: You are directly involved or observing yourself.
Other actors: Each one is a separate actor.
The scene: There can be more than one.
The action: There can be more than one.
The object: There can be a theme or an object involved.
The end result: End results are not present in all dreams.
The technique: Take every part of the dream and separate it from the rest. Use a separate piece of paper to record your observations. With each part do the following: Recalling from your own memory; what feelings this part has for you, what memories does it evoke, who and what does it remind you of, what impression do you have for it. Add every notion you can come up with. Restrict your analysis strictly to each individual part, and not how it played a role in the dream.
After you have done this with all the parts, review what is going on in your life at the present time. Now you are ready to fit the puzzle together. Remember, you are the only one who has the information to make the final interpretation. It’s all stored in the memory bank of your brain
Health Dreams InterpretationWhat Are They Telling You?
A Health Dream is one way your body can signal you when something’s wrong or needs your attention. Pain is a tool to tell you something is wrong. There are other things that are signals that are indicators about your health, not feeling well, dizziness, weakness, etc. Dreams are another way that you can find out about your health. Your subconscious will sometimes get your attention through your dreams.
Below are a few simple examples of Health Dreams that will demonstrate this. Remember to use the ‘Divide and analyze’ technique to interpret all dreams.
Jackie’s first encounter with food while sleeping was a novelty. In a dream someone was feeding food to her and she was eating it. The whole thing seemed amusing to her. Some time later, she had another dream involving food. However, the second dream wasn’t so amusing. When the food arrived at her face, it was being forcibly being crammed down her throat so that she couldn’t breath. She woke up in a terror gasping for air, her heart pounding away. It took a while before she could return to sleep. Upon awakening, her first thought was about the dream. She felt as though a mean person was trying to punish her with the food. It was then that she assessed herself realistically; she had recently put on quite a bit of weight, she ate constantly and made light of the fact as though it was an accomplishment to be proud of. Now she realized that her body was protesting her abuse of it and that her recently acquired eating habit was not a laughing matter. This second dream woke her up and she began a weight loss program to lose
the excess baggage.
Jackie didn’t recognize what the first dream was trying to tell her. When she didn’t respond accordingly, her subconscious turned up the heat to get its message across.
Lisa played worked out at the gym and played tennis regularly. She was in her thirties and in the best of health. In her Health Dream a neatly dressed man kept staring at her breasts, she felt self-conscious and turned away trying to ignore him. He appeared in front of her again still staring at her, and while still in the dream, she noticed that one of her breasts was larger than the other. Upon awakening she examined herself and discovered a lump on the right side. She consulted a physician and began treatment immediately.
Lisa’s subconscious mind gave her an early warning signal to check herself out. She had neglected to do this previously because of her excellent physical condition.
Your subconscious mind is aware of everything that is going on in your body. It tries to talk to you when you are awake, but if that doesn’t work, it can use your dreams as the communication link. You just need to analyze your dreams and look for the meanings.
Interpretation of a psychological dream
Life’s experiences sometimes rub us the wrong way. When something happens that contradicts our sense of ‘what ought be’ regarding our view of right or wrong, good and bad, it can make us pretty unhappy and affect our outlook on life. Unfulfilled wishes and desires are another have much the same effect.
Through our dreams, the subconscious mind tries to provide us with just the right dream at just the right time, to compensate for the many things that cause our peace of mind to get out of balance.
If we have fears, it tries to feed us those fears little by little in coded dreams to help us overcome them. Occasionally it uses the brute force of a nightmare to get its point across.
If we have unfulfilled desires it may provide us with a substitute to alleviate the sense of lacking.
Some of these dreams are pretty straight forward and at other times they are embedded in deeply symbolic presentations taken from our own memory bank of experiences. To solve the riddle of our dreams we need to sort out the feelings, meanings, and the memories of what all these symbols mean to us from our experience.
Here are a few simple examples:
Right and wrong
Art is a hard working and honest immigrant from Hungary who scrapping to make ends meet. He has a Hungarian friend named Hector who made a false claim for a faked injury on a train platform in NYC. Even though he had no witnesses to his fall, the city paid him a large amount of money to settle the claim. Art is dismayed and almost delirious with anger. How could his friend be rewarded for dishonesty while he worked so hard just to get by. He became discouraged and his outlook on life and sense of right and wrong suffered.
Several months later Art had a vivid dream. He witnessed his friend Hector being arrested for fraud, the police handcuffed him and a nearby judge ordered him deported back to Europe. End of dream.
Was his friend really arrested or deported? No. It only happened in Art’s dream. But as he told the story of the dream, there was a sense of relief in his voice that somehow justice was done. His subconscious delivered Art back to his old cheery self through a dream. It gave him a substitute for justice in a dream which he accepted.
Her fear overcome
The upper bridge in Margaret’s mouth became loose one day. It didn’t actually come out, it just loosened a bit. The thought of it falling out in front of other people petrified her. She didn’t have a lot of money and couldn’t get it repaired. She lived in constant fear of this happening and for months ate liquid foods hoping to prevent it from happening. Then she had a dream. In the dream the thing she feared most happened. The bridge fell out in front of a lot of people. Then she just took it and pushed it back in her mouth and it stayed there. End of dream.
She stopped worrying about her bridge falling out. That was approximately five years prior to
the telling of the dream and it still hadn’t fallen out.
These are examples of how the subconscious mind helps to keep us in balance psychologically. Although the actual cause for the worry and concern was not really resolved for these two people, a dream provided them with a substitute for the real thing.
Other dreams may not be so straight forward and may require the use of the divide and analyze technique.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Getting knowledge and information from your dreams
Getting knowledge and information from your dreams
You have the unlimited knowledge of the universe available at all times. It’s just a dream away. Some of the very important discoveries in science were made through the help of a dream.
Information for scienceEdison is said to have invented the light bulb with the aid of a dream. In fact he used dreams quite a lot for his ideas.
Dmitry Mendeleyev provided the world of chemistry and physics the Periodic Table of Elements in 1869. The Table, for which he missed the Nobel Prize in chemistry by one vote, came to him in its completed form in a dream.
All knowledge pre-exists in the universeRemember that all knowledge already exists in the universe. Infinite quantities of knowledge and information have not yet been transmitted to the minds of humans. Who knows how many other important and mundane discoveries remain to be accessed. We tend to think of future inventions and discoveries, but in reality, these things already exist in the knowledge bank of the universe. It’s all a matter of transmission from there to here. You can access this information through your dreams. Solve your personal problems or invent something. Prior to falling asleep, program your mind to access the information in a dream. Be persistent and keep trying. You’ll get a response.
Medical Information for health problemsRick had been jogging for six months when suddenly he developed an itching on his feet that wouldn’t go away. The problem area was at the point where the hard callous on the bottom of his feet met the soft skin tissue on the side. He tried every remedy that was available at the pharmacy with out success. Then he had the following dream: A picture of his foot appeared, a hand began painting the itchy area with a cotton swab with an orange colored liquid. Then he heard the word merthiolate End of dream.
Later that afternoon, he recalled the dream and decided to try it out. Within an hour of its first application the itching was gone. He claims that after a few more applications, the itch never returned to bother him again.
Business information from a dreamHarold went to bed one night completely stressed out. He had a building contractor client that was looking for a parcel of newly developed lots that he could purchase. Harold hadn’t been able to find what his client wanted and was worried that he was about to loose him. The moment he awoke in the morning, and before he opened his eyes, he heard words in his mind. "Basin Hill Sanctuary". There was something peculiar about the way the words came to him. He began an investigation, which led him to a newly paved road named Basin Hill and on it a piece of land that was being cleared for streets. He found the only sign on the property that had hand painted words, "The Sanctuary" He was astonished at this discovery. The owner had developed the land and hadn’t yet advertised it. After some negotiations, his client bought the land from the owner.
You can obtain this information also.
In all three of these cases, the dreamer received help from outside of their subconscious mind’s scope of knowledge. Even though they didn’t specifically solicit the dream state for the help that they received, they were made the beneficiaries of freely available universal knowledge. Anyone can have the same access if they make the effort to get it. These individuals had experienced a connection to a higher and greater power and their lives benefited by the encounter. Again, the only requirement is that you actively seek out this information by programming your self to get it while you dream.
You have the unlimited knowledge of the universe available at all times. It’s just a dream away. Some of the very important discoveries in science were made through the help of a dream.
Information for scienceEdison is said to have invented the light bulb with the aid of a dream. In fact he used dreams quite a lot for his ideas.
Dmitry Mendeleyev provided the world of chemistry and physics the Periodic Table of Elements in 1869. The Table, for which he missed the Nobel Prize in chemistry by one vote, came to him in its completed form in a dream.
All knowledge pre-exists in the universeRemember that all knowledge already exists in the universe. Infinite quantities of knowledge and information have not yet been transmitted to the minds of humans. Who knows how many other important and mundane discoveries remain to be accessed. We tend to think of future inventions and discoveries, but in reality, these things already exist in the knowledge bank of the universe. It’s all a matter of transmission from there to here. You can access this information through your dreams. Solve your personal problems or invent something. Prior to falling asleep, program your mind to access the information in a dream. Be persistent and keep trying. You’ll get a response.
Medical Information for health problemsRick had been jogging for six months when suddenly he developed an itching on his feet that wouldn’t go away. The problem area was at the point where the hard callous on the bottom of his feet met the soft skin tissue on the side. He tried every remedy that was available at the pharmacy with out success. Then he had the following dream: A picture of his foot appeared, a hand began painting the itchy area with a cotton swab with an orange colored liquid. Then he heard the word merthiolate End of dream.
Later that afternoon, he recalled the dream and decided to try it out. Within an hour of its first application the itching was gone. He claims that after a few more applications, the itch never returned to bother him again.
Business information from a dreamHarold went to bed one night completely stressed out. He had a building contractor client that was looking for a parcel of newly developed lots that he could purchase. Harold hadn’t been able to find what his client wanted and was worried that he was about to loose him. The moment he awoke in the morning, and before he opened his eyes, he heard words in his mind. "Basin Hill Sanctuary". There was something peculiar about the way the words came to him. He began an investigation, which led him to a newly paved road named Basin Hill and on it a piece of land that was being cleared for streets. He found the only sign on the property that had hand painted words, "The Sanctuary" He was astonished at this discovery. The owner had developed the land and hadn’t yet advertised it. After some negotiations, his client bought the land from the owner.
You can obtain this information also.
In all three of these cases, the dreamer received help from outside of their subconscious mind’s scope of knowledge. Even though they didn’t specifically solicit the dream state for the help that they received, they were made the beneficiaries of freely available universal knowledge. Anyone can have the same access if they make the effort to get it. These individuals had experienced a connection to a higher and greater power and their lives benefited by the encounter. Again, the only requirement is that you actively seek out this information by programming your self to get it while you dream.
Dream Analysis & Interpretation
Dream Analysis & Interpretation
What type of dream are you dealing with?
To interpret your dreams, you need to determine what type of dream you are dealing with. There are two categories that they fit into, those that are generated from within your physical body and mind and those that come from your spirit guides or tutors. They have different purposes and it’s necessary to recognize what these differences mean to you and how they interact in your waking and dreaming state.
Two main categories
The dreams that originate with the physical body are for your functioning and survival in the world of physical nature. They deal with your physical and psychological well being. These dreams are like your manager and janitor who try to keep body and mind tidy for your general well being.
Then, there are those dreams that have a mystical and special characteristic to them which are for your spiritual development and progress. They produce instant knowledge and information that is beyond your ability to garner through intellectual or logical means.
Why you get information when you sleep
When you are asleep, so is the physical component of your self. The five senses, smelling, tasting, feeling, seeing, and hearing, and your ego, the controlling master, are all temporarily suspended from activity. Sleeping allows the other sense that you have, the sixth sense, to take over for awhile with out much interference. This is when both the physical body and your spiritual essence can perform maintenance simultaneously to help unwrinkled parts of your life. It’s ironic that this is the state of being that psychics and mediums practice for years to achieve, and everyone enters it every time they fall asleep.
There are several components to each dream category:
Dreams from the physical body
Dreams from the spiritual realm
Food
Health
Psychological
Precognitive and future
New information or knowledge
The deceased or spirit guides visit you.
Dreams from the physical bodyFood: Did you ever notice that when you take a nap after you’ve eaten lunch that you can have some crazy images go through your mind. The same thing happens at night too, because food can trigger some wild and wacky dreams. If you enjoy these psychedelic excursions, then take note of what you had to eat before hand and repeat the process. On the other hand, if you’re not interested, then take note of what you ate and make certain to avoid eating whatever it was. Food is one of the generators of dreams, which are not worth interpreting.
Health Your subconscious knows a lot about you that you don’t, or maybe don’t care to know. Often times it will tell you something about your practices or lifestyle to tip you off about what its needs are. In dreams it tries to get the point across to you, sometimes politely, at other times not so.
Psychology: Stressful relationships and social situations can cause our mind to get out of kilter but our subconscious intervenes to straighten things out.
Dreams from the spiritual world Those special visits, instructions, lessons and guidance that we receive that are sometimes (but not always) interwoven with one of those mundane dreams your body generates. They are hidden and disguised because you are not supposed to know where the information is coming from. Like it’s a big secret. You are led to think that you dreamed up all those unique thoughts and ideas all by your little ol’ self. The bad news is that they occur much less frequently than the run of the mill physical dreams. The good news is that when you do experience them, you get the feeling that something special has occurred. Even if you can’t figure out what it means, there is a profound sense of purpose or message behind it. When experienced, they become landmarks in many people’s lives leaving them with a permanent and unforgettable impression of otherworldliness embedded deep within their subconscious mind.
What type of dream are you dealing with?
To interpret your dreams, you need to determine what type of dream you are dealing with. There are two categories that they fit into, those that are generated from within your physical body and mind and those that come from your spirit guides or tutors. They have different purposes and it’s necessary to recognize what these differences mean to you and how they interact in your waking and dreaming state.
Two main categories
The dreams that originate with the physical body are for your functioning and survival in the world of physical nature. They deal with your physical and psychological well being. These dreams are like your manager and janitor who try to keep body and mind tidy for your general well being.
Then, there are those dreams that have a mystical and special characteristic to them which are for your spiritual development and progress. They produce instant knowledge and information that is beyond your ability to garner through intellectual or logical means.
Why you get information when you sleep
When you are asleep, so is the physical component of your self. The five senses, smelling, tasting, feeling, seeing, and hearing, and your ego, the controlling master, are all temporarily suspended from activity. Sleeping allows the other sense that you have, the sixth sense, to take over for awhile with out much interference. This is when both the physical body and your spiritual essence can perform maintenance simultaneously to help unwrinkled parts of your life. It’s ironic that this is the state of being that psychics and mediums practice for years to achieve, and everyone enters it every time they fall asleep.
There are several components to each dream category:
Dreams from the physical body
Dreams from the spiritual realm
Food
Health
Psychological
Precognitive and future
New information or knowledge
The deceased or spirit guides visit you.
Dreams from the physical bodyFood: Did you ever notice that when you take a nap after you’ve eaten lunch that you can have some crazy images go through your mind. The same thing happens at night too, because food can trigger some wild and wacky dreams. If you enjoy these psychedelic excursions, then take note of what you had to eat before hand and repeat the process. On the other hand, if you’re not interested, then take note of what you ate and make certain to avoid eating whatever it was. Food is one of the generators of dreams, which are not worth interpreting.
Health Your subconscious knows a lot about you that you don’t, or maybe don’t care to know. Often times it will tell you something about your practices or lifestyle to tip you off about what its needs are. In dreams it tries to get the point across to you, sometimes politely, at other times not so.
Psychology: Stressful relationships and social situations can cause our mind to get out of kilter but our subconscious intervenes to straighten things out.
Dreams from the spiritual world Those special visits, instructions, lessons and guidance that we receive that are sometimes (but not always) interwoven with one of those mundane dreams your body generates. They are hidden and disguised because you are not supposed to know where the information is coming from. Like it’s a big secret. You are led to think that you dreamed up all those unique thoughts and ideas all by your little ol’ self. The bad news is that they occur much less frequently than the run of the mill physical dreams. The good news is that when you do experience them, you get the feeling that something special has occurred. Even if you can’t figure out what it means, there is a profound sense of purpose or message behind it. When experienced, they become landmarks in many people’s lives leaving them with a permanent and unforgettable impression of otherworldliness embedded deep within their subconscious mind.
Anger Therapy
We all know what anger is, and we've all felt it: whether as a fleeting annoyance or as full-fledged rage.
Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion. This brochure is meant to help you understand and control anger.
What is Anger?
The Nature of Anger
Anger is "an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage," according to Charles Spielberger, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in the study of anger. Like other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes; when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and nor adrenaline.
Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. You could be angry at a specific person (Such as a coworker or supervisor) or event (a traffic jam, a canceled flight), or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings.
Expressing Anger
The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival.
On the other hand, we can't physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, social norms, and common sense place limits on how far our anger can take us.
People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive—not aggressive—manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn't mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.
Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive. The aim is to inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive behavior. The danger in this type of response is that if it isn't allowed outward expression, your anger can turn inward—on yourself. Anger turned inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.
Unexpressed anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments haven't learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they aren't likely to have many successful relationships.
Finally, you can calm down inside. This means not just controlling your outward behavior, but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and let the feelings subside.
As Dr. Spielberger notes, "when none of these three techniques work, that's when someone—or something—is going to get hurt."
Anger Management
The goal of anger management is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. You can't get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions.
Are You Too Angry?
There are psychological tests that measure the intensity of angry feelings, how prone to anger you are, and how well you handle it. But chances are good that if you do have a problem with anger, you already know it. If you find yourself acting in ways that seem out of control and frightening, you might need help to find better ways to deal with this emotion.
Why Are Some People Angrier Than Others?
According to Jerry Deffenbacher, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in anger management, some people really are more "hotheaded" than others are; they get angry more easily and more intensely than the average person does. There are also those who don't show their anger in loud spectacular ways but are chronically irritable and grumpy. Easily angered people don't always curse and throw things; sometimes they withdraw socially, sulk, or get physically ill.
People who are easily angered generally have what some psychologists call a low tolerance for frustration, meaning simply that they feel that they should not have to be subjected to frustration, inconvenience, or annoyance. They can't take things in stride, and they're particularly infuriated if the situation seems somehow unjust: for example, being corrected for a minor mistake.
What makes these people this way? A number of things. One cause may be genetic or physiological: There is evidence that some children are born irritable, touchy, and easily angered, and that these signs are present from a very early age. Another may be socio-cultural. Anger is often regarded as negative; we're taught that it's all right to express anxiety, depression, or other emotions but not to express anger. As a result, we don't learn how to handle it or channel it constructively.
Research has also found that family background plays a role. Typically, people who are easily angered come from families that are disruptive, chaotic, and not skilled at emotional communications.
Is It Good To "Let it All Hang Out?"
Psychologists now say that this is a dangerous myth. Some people use this theory as a license to hurt others. Research has found that "letting it rip" with anger actually escalates anger and aggression and does nothing to help you (or the person you're angry with) resolve the situation.
It's best to find out what it is that triggers your anger, and then to develop strategies to keep those triggers from tipping you over the edge.
Strategies to Keep Anger At Bay
Relaxation
Simple relaxation tools, such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery, can help calm down angry feelings. There are books and courses that can teach you relaxation techniques, and once you learn the techniques, you can call upon them in any situation. If you are involved in a relationship where both partners are hot-tempered, it might be a good idea for both of you to learn these techniques.
Some simple steps you can try:
Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won't relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your "gut."
Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax," "take it easy." Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.
Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination.
Non-strenuous, slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.
Practice these techniques daily. Learn to use them automatically when you're in a tense situation.
Cognitive Restructuring
Simply put, this means changing the way you think. Angry people tend to curse, swear, or speak in highly colorful terms that reflect their inner thoughts. When you're angry, your thinking can get very exaggerated and overly dramatic. Try replacing these thoughts with more rational ones. For instance, instead of telling yourself, "oh, it's awful, it's terrible, everything's ruined," tell yourself, "it's frustrating, and it's understandable that I'm upset about it, but it's not the end of the world and getting angry is not going to fix it anyhow."
Be careful of words like "never" or "always" when talking about yourself or someone else. "This &*%@ machine never works," or "you're always forgetting things" are not just inaccurate, they also serve to make you feel that your anger is justified and that there's no way to solve the problem. They also alienate and humiliate people who might otherwise be willing to work with you on a solution.
Remind yourself that getting angry is not going to fix anything that it won't make you feel better (and may actually make you feel worse).
Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when it's justified, can quickly become irrational. So use cold hard logic on yourself. Remind yourself that the world is "not out to get you," you're just experiencing some of the rough spots of daily life. Do this each time you feel anger getting the best of you, and it'll help you get a more balanced perspective. Angry people tend to demand things: fairness, appreciation, agreement, willingness to do things their way. Everyone wants these things, and we are all hurt and disappointed when we don't get them, but angry people demand them, and when their demands aren't met, their disappointment becomes anger. As part of their cognitive restructuring, angry people need to become aware of their demanding nature and translate their expectations into desires. In other words, saying, "I would like" something is healthier than saying, "I demand" or "I must have" something. When you're unable to get what you want, you will experience the normal reactions—frustration, disappointment, hurt—but not anger. Some angry people use this anger as a way to avoid feeling hurt, but that doesn't mean the hurt goes away.
Problem Solving
Sometimes, our anger and frustration are caused by very real and inescapable problems in our lives. Not all anger is misplaced, and often it's a healthy, natural response to these difficulties. There is also a cultural belief that every problem has a solution, and it adds to our frustration to find out that this isn't always the case. The best attitude to bring to such a situation, then, is not to focus on finding the solution, but rather on how you handle and face the problem.
Make a plan, and check your progress along the way. Resolve to give it your best, but also not to punish yourself if an answer doesn't come right away. If you can approach it with your best intentions and efforts and make a serious attempt to face it head-on, you will be less likely to lose patience and fall into all-or-nothing thinking, even if the problem does not get solved right away.
Better Communication
Angry people tend to jump to—and act on—conclusions and some of those conclusions can be very inaccurate. The first thing to do if you're in a heated discussion is slow down and think through your responses. Don't say the first thing that comes into your head, but slow down and think carefully about what you want to say. At the same time, listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering.
Listen, too, to what is underlying the anger. For instance, you like a certain amount of freedom and personal space, and your "significant other" wants more connection and closeness. If he or she starts complaining about your activities, don't retaliate by painting your partner as a jailer, a warden, or an albatross around your neck.
It's natural to get defensive when you're criticized, but don't fight back. Instead, listen to what's underlying the words: the message that this person might feel neglected and unloved. It may take a lot of patient questioning on your part, and it may require some breathing space, but don't let your anger—or a partner's—let a discussion spin out of control. Keeping your cool can keep the situation from becoming a disastrous one.
Using Humor
"Silly humor" can help defuse rage in a number of ways. For one thing, it can help you get a more balanced perspective. When you get angry and call someone a name or refer to them in some imaginative phrase, stop and picture what that word would literally look like. If you're at work and you think of a coworker as a "dirt bag" or a "single-cell life form," for example, picture a large bag full of dirt (or an amoeba) sitting at your colleague's desk, talking on the phone, going to meetings. Do this whenever a name comes into your head about another person. If you can, draw a picture of what the actual thing might look like. This will take a lot of the edge off your fury; and humor can always be relied on to help unknot a tense situation.
The underlying message of highly angry people, Dr. Deffenbacher says, is "things ought to go my way!" Angry people tend to feel that they are morally right, that any blocking or changing of their plans is an unbearable indignity and that they should NOT have to suffer this way. Maybe other people do, but not them!
When you feel that urge, he suggests, picture yourself as a god or goddess, a supreme ruler, who owns the streets and stores and office space, striding alone and having your way in all situations while others defer to you. The more detail you can get into your imaginary scenes, the more chances you have to realize that maybe you are being unreasonable; you'll also realize how unimportant the things you're angry about really are. There are two cautions in using humor. First, don't try to just "laugh off" your problems; rather, use humor to help yourself face them more constructively. Second, don't give in to harsh, sarcastic humor; that's just another form of unhealthy anger expression.
What these techniques have in common is a refusal to take yourself too seriously. Anger is a serious emotion, but it's often accompanied by ideas that, if examined, can make you laugh.
Changing Your Environment
Sometimes it's our immediate surroundings that give us cause for irritation and fury. Problems and responsibilities can weigh on you and make you feel angry at the "trap" you seem to have fallen into and all the people and things that form that trap.
Give yourself a break. Make sure you have some "personal time" scheduled for times of the day that you know are particularly stressful. One example is the working mother who has a standing rule that when she comes home from work, for the first 15 minutes "nobody talks to Mom unless the house is on fire." After this brief quiet time, she feels better prepared to handle demands from her kids without blowing up at them.
Some Other Tips for Easing Up on Yourself
Timing: If you and your spouse tend to fight when you discuss things at night—perhaps you're tired, or distracted, or maybe it's just habit—try changing the times when you talk about important matters so these talks don't turn into arguments.
Avoidance: If your child's chaotic room makes you furious every time you walk by it, shut the door. Don't make yourself look at what infuriates you. Don't say, "well, my child should clean up the room so I won't have to be angry!" That's not the point. The point is to keep yourself calm.
Finding alternatives: If your daily commute through traffic leaves you in a state of rage and frustration, give yourself a project—learn or map out a different route, one that's less congested
or more scenic. Or find another alternative, such as a bus or commuter train.
Do You Need Counseling?
If you feel that your anger is really out of control, if it is having an impact on your relationships and on important parts of your life, you might consider counseling to learn how to handle it better. A psychologist or other licensed mental health professional can work with you in developing a range of techniques for changing your thinking and your behavior.
When you talk to a prospective therapist, tell her or him that you have problems with anger that you want to work on, and ask about his or her approach to anger management. Make sure this isn't only a course of action designed to "put you in touch with your feelings and express them"—that may be precisely what your problem is. With counseling, psychologists say, a highly angry person can move closer to a middle range of anger in about 8 to 10 weeks, depending on the circumstances and the techniques used.
What about Assertiveness Training?
It's true that angry people need to learn to become assertive (rather than aggressive), but most books and courses on developing assertiveness are aimed at people who don't feel enough anger. These people are more passive and acquiescent than the average person; they tend to let others walk all over them. That isn't something that most angry people do. Still, these books can contain some useful tactics to use in frustrating situations.
Remember, you can't eliminate anger—and it wouldn't be a good idea if you could. In spite of all your efforts, things will happen that will cause you anger; and sometimes it will be justifiable anger. Life will be filled with frustration, pain, loss, and the unpredictable actions of others. You can't change that; but you can change the way you let such events affect you. Controlling your angry responses can keep them from making you even unhappy in the long run.
Controlling your temper isn't always easy. But these effective anger management techniques will help give you the upper hand.
If your outbursts, rages or bullying are negatively affecting relationships with family, friends, and co-workers and even complete strangers, it's time to change the way you express your anger. You can take steps on your own to improve your anger management.
Anger management tips
Here are some anger management tips to help get your anger under control:
§ Take a "time out." Although it may seem cliché, counting to 10 before reacting, or leaving the situation altogether, really can defuse your temper.
§ Do something physically exerting. Physical activity can provide an outlet for your emotions, especially if you're about to erupt. Go for a brisk walk or a run, swim, lift weights or shoot baskets.
§ Find ways to calm and soothe yourself. Practice deep-breathing exercises, visualize a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase to yourself, such as "take it easy." You can also listen to music, paint, journal or do yoga.
§ Once you're calm, express your anger as soon as possible so that you aren't left stewing. If you simply can't express your anger in a controlled manner to the person who angered you, try talking to a family member, friend, counselor or another trusted person.
§ Think carefully before you say anything so that you don't end up saying something you'll regret. Write a script and rehearse it so that you can stick to the issues.
§ Work with the person who angered you to identify solutions to the situation.
§ Use "I" statements when describing the problem to avoid criticizing or placing blame. For instance, say "I'm upset you didn't help with the housework this evening," instead of, "You should have helped with the housework." To do otherwise will likely upset the other person and escalate tensions.
§ Don't hold a grudge. Forgive the other person. It's unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want.
§ Use humor to release tensions, such as imagining yourself or the other person in silly situations. Don't use sarcasm, though — it's just another form of unhealthy expression.
§ Keep an anger log to identify the kinds of situations that set you off and to monitor your reactions.
§ Practice relaxation skills. Learning skills to relax and de-stress can also help control your temper when it may flare up.
Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion. This brochure is meant to help you understand and control anger.
What is Anger?
The Nature of Anger
Anger is "an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage," according to Charles Spielberger, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in the study of anger. Like other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes; when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and nor adrenaline.
Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. You could be angry at a specific person (Such as a coworker or supervisor) or event (a traffic jam, a canceled flight), or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings.
Expressing Anger
The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival.
On the other hand, we can't physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, social norms, and common sense place limits on how far our anger can take us.
People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive—not aggressive—manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn't mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.
Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive. The aim is to inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive behavior. The danger in this type of response is that if it isn't allowed outward expression, your anger can turn inward—on yourself. Anger turned inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.
Unexpressed anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments haven't learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they aren't likely to have many successful relationships.
Finally, you can calm down inside. This means not just controlling your outward behavior, but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and let the feelings subside.
As Dr. Spielberger notes, "when none of these three techniques work, that's when someone—or something—is going to get hurt."
Anger Management
The goal of anger management is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. You can't get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions.
Are You Too Angry?
There are psychological tests that measure the intensity of angry feelings, how prone to anger you are, and how well you handle it. But chances are good that if you do have a problem with anger, you already know it. If you find yourself acting in ways that seem out of control and frightening, you might need help to find better ways to deal with this emotion.
Why Are Some People Angrier Than Others?
According to Jerry Deffenbacher, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in anger management, some people really are more "hotheaded" than others are; they get angry more easily and more intensely than the average person does. There are also those who don't show their anger in loud spectacular ways but are chronically irritable and grumpy. Easily angered people don't always curse and throw things; sometimes they withdraw socially, sulk, or get physically ill.
People who are easily angered generally have what some psychologists call a low tolerance for frustration, meaning simply that they feel that they should not have to be subjected to frustration, inconvenience, or annoyance. They can't take things in stride, and they're particularly infuriated if the situation seems somehow unjust: for example, being corrected for a minor mistake.
What makes these people this way? A number of things. One cause may be genetic or physiological: There is evidence that some children are born irritable, touchy, and easily angered, and that these signs are present from a very early age. Another may be socio-cultural. Anger is often regarded as negative; we're taught that it's all right to express anxiety, depression, or other emotions but not to express anger. As a result, we don't learn how to handle it or channel it constructively.
Research has also found that family background plays a role. Typically, people who are easily angered come from families that are disruptive, chaotic, and not skilled at emotional communications.
Is It Good To "Let it All Hang Out?"
Psychologists now say that this is a dangerous myth. Some people use this theory as a license to hurt others. Research has found that "letting it rip" with anger actually escalates anger and aggression and does nothing to help you (or the person you're angry with) resolve the situation.
It's best to find out what it is that triggers your anger, and then to develop strategies to keep those triggers from tipping you over the edge.
Strategies to Keep Anger At Bay
Relaxation
Simple relaxation tools, such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery, can help calm down angry feelings. There are books and courses that can teach you relaxation techniques, and once you learn the techniques, you can call upon them in any situation. If you are involved in a relationship where both partners are hot-tempered, it might be a good idea for both of you to learn these techniques.
Some simple steps you can try:
Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won't relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your "gut."
Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax," "take it easy." Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.
Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination.
Non-strenuous, slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.
Practice these techniques daily. Learn to use them automatically when you're in a tense situation.
Cognitive Restructuring
Simply put, this means changing the way you think. Angry people tend to curse, swear, or speak in highly colorful terms that reflect their inner thoughts. When you're angry, your thinking can get very exaggerated and overly dramatic. Try replacing these thoughts with more rational ones. For instance, instead of telling yourself, "oh, it's awful, it's terrible, everything's ruined," tell yourself, "it's frustrating, and it's understandable that I'm upset about it, but it's not the end of the world and getting angry is not going to fix it anyhow."
Be careful of words like "never" or "always" when talking about yourself or someone else. "This &*%@ machine never works," or "you're always forgetting things" are not just inaccurate, they also serve to make you feel that your anger is justified and that there's no way to solve the problem. They also alienate and humiliate people who might otherwise be willing to work with you on a solution.
Remind yourself that getting angry is not going to fix anything that it won't make you feel better (and may actually make you feel worse).
Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when it's justified, can quickly become irrational. So use cold hard logic on yourself. Remind yourself that the world is "not out to get you," you're just experiencing some of the rough spots of daily life. Do this each time you feel anger getting the best of you, and it'll help you get a more balanced perspective. Angry people tend to demand things: fairness, appreciation, agreement, willingness to do things their way. Everyone wants these things, and we are all hurt and disappointed when we don't get them, but angry people demand them, and when their demands aren't met, their disappointment becomes anger. As part of their cognitive restructuring, angry people need to become aware of their demanding nature and translate their expectations into desires. In other words, saying, "I would like" something is healthier than saying, "I demand" or "I must have" something. When you're unable to get what you want, you will experience the normal reactions—frustration, disappointment, hurt—but not anger. Some angry people use this anger as a way to avoid feeling hurt, but that doesn't mean the hurt goes away.
Problem Solving
Sometimes, our anger and frustration are caused by very real and inescapable problems in our lives. Not all anger is misplaced, and often it's a healthy, natural response to these difficulties. There is also a cultural belief that every problem has a solution, and it adds to our frustration to find out that this isn't always the case. The best attitude to bring to such a situation, then, is not to focus on finding the solution, but rather on how you handle and face the problem.
Make a plan, and check your progress along the way. Resolve to give it your best, but also not to punish yourself if an answer doesn't come right away. If you can approach it with your best intentions and efforts and make a serious attempt to face it head-on, you will be less likely to lose patience and fall into all-or-nothing thinking, even if the problem does not get solved right away.
Better Communication
Angry people tend to jump to—and act on—conclusions and some of those conclusions can be very inaccurate. The first thing to do if you're in a heated discussion is slow down and think through your responses. Don't say the first thing that comes into your head, but slow down and think carefully about what you want to say. At the same time, listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering.
Listen, too, to what is underlying the anger. For instance, you like a certain amount of freedom and personal space, and your "significant other" wants more connection and closeness. If he or she starts complaining about your activities, don't retaliate by painting your partner as a jailer, a warden, or an albatross around your neck.
It's natural to get defensive when you're criticized, but don't fight back. Instead, listen to what's underlying the words: the message that this person might feel neglected and unloved. It may take a lot of patient questioning on your part, and it may require some breathing space, but don't let your anger—or a partner's—let a discussion spin out of control. Keeping your cool can keep the situation from becoming a disastrous one.
Using Humor
"Silly humor" can help defuse rage in a number of ways. For one thing, it can help you get a more balanced perspective. When you get angry and call someone a name or refer to them in some imaginative phrase, stop and picture what that word would literally look like. If you're at work and you think of a coworker as a "dirt bag" or a "single-cell life form," for example, picture a large bag full of dirt (or an amoeba) sitting at your colleague's desk, talking on the phone, going to meetings. Do this whenever a name comes into your head about another person. If you can, draw a picture of what the actual thing might look like. This will take a lot of the edge off your fury; and humor can always be relied on to help unknot a tense situation.
The underlying message of highly angry people, Dr. Deffenbacher says, is "things ought to go my way!" Angry people tend to feel that they are morally right, that any blocking or changing of their plans is an unbearable indignity and that they should NOT have to suffer this way. Maybe other people do, but not them!
When you feel that urge, he suggests, picture yourself as a god or goddess, a supreme ruler, who owns the streets and stores and office space, striding alone and having your way in all situations while others defer to you. The more detail you can get into your imaginary scenes, the more chances you have to realize that maybe you are being unreasonable; you'll also realize how unimportant the things you're angry about really are. There are two cautions in using humor. First, don't try to just "laugh off" your problems; rather, use humor to help yourself face them more constructively. Second, don't give in to harsh, sarcastic humor; that's just another form of unhealthy anger expression.
What these techniques have in common is a refusal to take yourself too seriously. Anger is a serious emotion, but it's often accompanied by ideas that, if examined, can make you laugh.
Changing Your Environment
Sometimes it's our immediate surroundings that give us cause for irritation and fury. Problems and responsibilities can weigh on you and make you feel angry at the "trap" you seem to have fallen into and all the people and things that form that trap.
Give yourself a break. Make sure you have some "personal time" scheduled for times of the day that you know are particularly stressful. One example is the working mother who has a standing rule that when she comes home from work, for the first 15 minutes "nobody talks to Mom unless the house is on fire." After this brief quiet time, she feels better prepared to handle demands from her kids without blowing up at them.
Some Other Tips for Easing Up on Yourself
Timing: If you and your spouse tend to fight when you discuss things at night—perhaps you're tired, or distracted, or maybe it's just habit—try changing the times when you talk about important matters so these talks don't turn into arguments.
Avoidance: If your child's chaotic room makes you furious every time you walk by it, shut the door. Don't make yourself look at what infuriates you. Don't say, "well, my child should clean up the room so I won't have to be angry!" That's not the point. The point is to keep yourself calm.
Finding alternatives: If your daily commute through traffic leaves you in a state of rage and frustration, give yourself a project—learn or map out a different route, one that's less congested
or more scenic. Or find another alternative, such as a bus or commuter train.
Do You Need Counseling?
If you feel that your anger is really out of control, if it is having an impact on your relationships and on important parts of your life, you might consider counseling to learn how to handle it better. A psychologist or other licensed mental health professional can work with you in developing a range of techniques for changing your thinking and your behavior.
When you talk to a prospective therapist, tell her or him that you have problems with anger that you want to work on, and ask about his or her approach to anger management. Make sure this isn't only a course of action designed to "put you in touch with your feelings and express them"—that may be precisely what your problem is. With counseling, psychologists say, a highly angry person can move closer to a middle range of anger in about 8 to 10 weeks, depending on the circumstances and the techniques used.
What about Assertiveness Training?
It's true that angry people need to learn to become assertive (rather than aggressive), but most books and courses on developing assertiveness are aimed at people who don't feel enough anger. These people are more passive and acquiescent than the average person; they tend to let others walk all over them. That isn't something that most angry people do. Still, these books can contain some useful tactics to use in frustrating situations.
Remember, you can't eliminate anger—and it wouldn't be a good idea if you could. In spite of all your efforts, things will happen that will cause you anger; and sometimes it will be justifiable anger. Life will be filled with frustration, pain, loss, and the unpredictable actions of others. You can't change that; but you can change the way you let such events affect you. Controlling your angry responses can keep them from making you even unhappy in the long run.
Controlling your temper isn't always easy. But these effective anger management techniques will help give you the upper hand.
If your outbursts, rages or bullying are negatively affecting relationships with family, friends, and co-workers and even complete strangers, it's time to change the way you express your anger. You can take steps on your own to improve your anger management.
Anger management tips
Here are some anger management tips to help get your anger under control:
§ Take a "time out." Although it may seem cliché, counting to 10 before reacting, or leaving the situation altogether, really can defuse your temper.
§ Do something physically exerting. Physical activity can provide an outlet for your emotions, especially if you're about to erupt. Go for a brisk walk or a run, swim, lift weights or shoot baskets.
§ Find ways to calm and soothe yourself. Practice deep-breathing exercises, visualize a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase to yourself, such as "take it easy." You can also listen to music, paint, journal or do yoga.
§ Once you're calm, express your anger as soon as possible so that you aren't left stewing. If you simply can't express your anger in a controlled manner to the person who angered you, try talking to a family member, friend, counselor or another trusted person.
§ Think carefully before you say anything so that you don't end up saying something you'll regret. Write a script and rehearse it so that you can stick to the issues.
§ Work with the person who angered you to identify solutions to the situation.
§ Use "I" statements when describing the problem to avoid criticizing or placing blame. For instance, say "I'm upset you didn't help with the housework this evening," instead of, "You should have helped with the housework." To do otherwise will likely upset the other person and escalate tensions.
§ Don't hold a grudge. Forgive the other person. It's unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want.
§ Use humor to release tensions, such as imagining yourself or the other person in silly situations. Don't use sarcasm, though — it's just another form of unhealthy expression.
§ Keep an anger log to identify the kinds of situations that set you off and to monitor your reactions.
§ Practice relaxation skills. Learning skills to relax and de-stress can also help control your temper when it may flare up.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Happiness
Happiness
Like you, I have met many
who do not make us smile;
they make you feel like life on Earth
never was worthwhile;
as though the Cosmic task had now
failed in its course
or moved to another project
with less to give remorse
So many seeking happiness,
yet know not where to look;
and if not found amid the world
they settle for a book !
But who, amid such dismal throng,
give an ounce away,
of the thing which they are seeking
for themselves that day ?
It is quite true that happinessis
not quite what life's about,
but it is an essential quality
which is hard to be without.
But neither is it difficult
to create it by your will;
and to give... it costs you nothing !
And if YOU don't... who then will ?
But then again, once in a while,
a passing face will beam,
like the innocence of childhood;
the answer to a dream.
For Man on Earth to be Divine
he does not become a god,
nor the power of creation,
nor waves a magic rod.
To be Divine he simply lives
and emits the spark within;
the spark of Nous Eternal,
which came to Earth with him.
But that, of course, IS MAGIC;
that you can make folk smile,
by bringing forth within you
to make this world worthwhile.
It is quite true that Earthly forms
can give such thing away;
but how much more if conscious minds
did as much each day ?
And surely, I would ask you,
that a conscious mind can do
what a Tree, or Sunset,
can ever come to do !
Like you, I have met many
who do not make us smile;
they make you feel like life on Earth
never was worthwhile;
as though the Cosmic task had now
failed in its course
or moved to another project
with less to give remorse
So many seeking happiness,
yet know not where to look;
and if not found amid the world
they settle for a book !
But who, amid such dismal throng,
give an ounce away,
of the thing which they are seeking
for themselves that day ?
It is quite true that happinessis
not quite what life's about,
but it is an essential quality
which is hard to be without.
But neither is it difficult
to create it by your will;
and to give... it costs you nothing !
And if YOU don't... who then will ?
But then again, once in a while,
a passing face will beam,
like the innocence of childhood;
the answer to a dream.
For Man on Earth to be Divine
he does not become a god,
nor the power of creation,
nor waves a magic rod.
To be Divine he simply lives
and emits the spark within;
the spark of Nous Eternal,
which came to Earth with him.
But that, of course, IS MAGIC;
that you can make folk smile,
by bringing forth within you
to make this world worthwhile.
It is quite true that Earthly forms
can give such thing away;
but how much more if conscious minds
did as much each day ?
And surely, I would ask you,
that a conscious mind can do
what a Tree, or Sunset,
can ever come to do !
Happiness
IN PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS :
We convince ourselves that life will be better afterwe get married, have a baby, then another.Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enoughand we'll be more content when they are.After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with.We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when ourspouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicercar, are able to go on a nice vacation,or when we retire.
The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than right now.If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges.
It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway.Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you haveand treasure it more because you shared it with someone special,special enough to spend your time with...and remember that timewaits for no one.So, stop waiting--until your car or home is paid off--until you get a new car or home--until your kids leave the house--until you go back to school--until you lose ten pounds--until you gain ten pounds--until you finish school--until you get a divorce--until you get married--until you have kids--until you retire--until summer--until spring--until winter--until fall--until you die
There is no better time than RIGHT NOW to be happy.Happiness is a JOURNEY, not a destination.So -- work like you don't need money,Love like you've never been hurt,And dance like no one's watching.
We convince ourselves that life will be better afterwe get married, have a baby, then another.Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enoughand we'll be more content when they are.After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with.We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when ourspouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicercar, are able to go on a nice vacation,or when we retire.
The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than right now.If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges.
It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway.Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you haveand treasure it more because you shared it with someone special,special enough to spend your time with...and remember that timewaits for no one.So, stop waiting--until your car or home is paid off--until you get a new car or home--until your kids leave the house--until you go back to school--until you lose ten pounds--until you gain ten pounds--until you finish school--until you get a divorce--until you get married--until you have kids--until you retire--until summer--until spring--until winter--until fall--until you die
There is no better time than RIGHT NOW to be happy.Happiness is a JOURNEY, not a destination.So -- work like you don't need money,Love like you've never been hurt,And dance like no one's watching.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Sleep
CAN'T SLEEP?
Nothing is more frustrating than not being able to sleep. Tossing and turning. Your mind is racing, going over everything that happened today. Night noises keep you awake. What can you do? There ARE things you can do! Read on and learn some new tricks to sleep well. These tips are also known as "Sleep Hygiene."
Sleep only when sleepy This reduces the time you are awake in bed.
If you can't fall asleep within 20 minutes, get up and do something boring until you feel sleepy Sit quietly in the dark or read the warranty on your refrigerator. Don't expose yourself to bright light while you are up. The light gives cues to your brain that it is time to wake up.
Don't take naps This will ensure you are tired at bedtime. If you just can't make it through the day without a nap, sleep less than one hour, before 3 pm.
Get up and go to bed the same time every day Even on weekends! When your sleep cycle has a regular rhythm, you will feel better.
Refrain from exercise at least 4 hours before bedtime Regular exercise is recommended to help you sleep well, but the timing of the workout is important. Exercising in the morning or early afternoon will not interfere with sleep.
Develop sleep rituals It is important to give your body cues that it is time to slow down and sleep. Listen to relaxing music, read something soothing for 15 minutes, have a cup of caffeine free tea, do relaxation exercises.
Only use your bed for sleeping Refrain from using your bed to watch TV, pay bills, do work or reading. So when you go to bed your body knows it is time to sleep. Sex is the only exception.
Stay away from caffeine, nicotine and alcohol at least 4-6 hours before bed Caffeine and nicotine are stimulants that interfere with your ability to fall asleep. Coffee, tea, cola, cocoa, chocolate and some prescription and non-prescription drugs contain caffeine. Cigarettes and some drugs contain nicotine. Alcohol may seem to help you sleep in the beginning as it slows brain activity, but you will end end up having fragmented sleep.
Have a light snack before bed If your stomach is too empty, that can interfere with sleep. However, if you eat a heavy meal before bedtime, that can interfere as well. Dairy products and turkey contain tryptophan, which acts as a natural sleep inducer. Tryptophan is probably why a warm glass of milk is sometimes recommended.
Take a hot bath 90 minutes before bedtime
A hot bath will raise your body temperature, but it is the drop in body temperature that may leave you feeling sleepy. Read about the study done on body temperature below.
Trouble Sleeping? Chill Out! - A press release from the journal Sleep about the significance in body temperature before sleep
Make sure your bed and bedroom are quiet and comfortable A hot room can be uncomfortable. A cooler room along with enough blankets to stay warm is recommended. If light in the early morning bothers you, get a blackout shade or wear a slumber mask. If noise bothers you, wear earplugs or get a "white noise" machine.
Use sunlight to set your biological clock
As soon as you get up in the morning, go outside and turn your face to the sun for 15 minutes.
Nothing is more frustrating than not being able to sleep. Tossing and turning. Your mind is racing, going over everything that happened today. Night noises keep you awake. What can you do? There ARE things you can do! Read on and learn some new tricks to sleep well. These tips are also known as "Sleep Hygiene."
Sleep only when sleepy This reduces the time you are awake in bed.
If you can't fall asleep within 20 minutes, get up and do something boring until you feel sleepy Sit quietly in the dark or read the warranty on your refrigerator. Don't expose yourself to bright light while you are up. The light gives cues to your brain that it is time to wake up.
Don't take naps This will ensure you are tired at bedtime. If you just can't make it through the day without a nap, sleep less than one hour, before 3 pm.
Get up and go to bed the same time every day Even on weekends! When your sleep cycle has a regular rhythm, you will feel better.
Refrain from exercise at least 4 hours before bedtime Regular exercise is recommended to help you sleep well, but the timing of the workout is important. Exercising in the morning or early afternoon will not interfere with sleep.
Develop sleep rituals It is important to give your body cues that it is time to slow down and sleep. Listen to relaxing music, read something soothing for 15 minutes, have a cup of caffeine free tea, do relaxation exercises.
Only use your bed for sleeping Refrain from using your bed to watch TV, pay bills, do work or reading. So when you go to bed your body knows it is time to sleep. Sex is the only exception.
Stay away from caffeine, nicotine and alcohol at least 4-6 hours before bed Caffeine and nicotine are stimulants that interfere with your ability to fall asleep. Coffee, tea, cola, cocoa, chocolate and some prescription and non-prescription drugs contain caffeine. Cigarettes and some drugs contain nicotine. Alcohol may seem to help you sleep in the beginning as it slows brain activity, but you will end end up having fragmented sleep.
Have a light snack before bed If your stomach is too empty, that can interfere with sleep. However, if you eat a heavy meal before bedtime, that can interfere as well. Dairy products and turkey contain tryptophan, which acts as a natural sleep inducer. Tryptophan is probably why a warm glass of milk is sometimes recommended.
Take a hot bath 90 minutes before bedtime
A hot bath will raise your body temperature, but it is the drop in body temperature that may leave you feeling sleepy. Read about the study done on body temperature below.
Trouble Sleeping? Chill Out! - A press release from the journal Sleep about the significance in body temperature before sleep
Make sure your bed and bedroom are quiet and comfortable A hot room can be uncomfortable. A cooler room along with enough blankets to stay warm is recommended. If light in the early morning bothers you, get a blackout shade or wear a slumber mask. If noise bothers you, wear earplugs or get a "white noise" machine.
Use sunlight to set your biological clock
As soon as you get up in the morning, go outside and turn your face to the sun for 15 minutes.
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